Love is love is love

I confess.  Despite the urging and enthusiasm of some of my best-loved friends, I have not gotten on the Hamilton bandwagon.  Partly because I don't like rap.  Or hip hop.  It's hard to convince myself that a rap musical is something I would enjoy, no matter how clever and brilliant it may be.  My brain is just too slow to follow the rapid patter of words.  Part of it is stubbornness.  Sometimes I resist simply because everyone is telling me that I have to.  I have come late to many good things because I didn't want to join the lemmings, even though sometimes the lemmings are jumping into something amazing, and it would benefit me to be running with the pack!  So until now, though I have smiled at my dear friends' addiction to Hamilton, I have refused to engage with it.

On the Sunday of the Orlando shootings, I heard something about a shooting before heading into church, but somehow it didn't penetrate.  It's like my brain said, "Does not compute."  Maybe it was because the news story was so brief and there seemed to be so little information.  Maybe it's because I've become acclimatized to stories about shootings. 

It wasn't until I got home from church and checked in online that I discovered what had truly happened, and it started to sink in.  But I still couldn't feel anything.  I knew that this was a terrible, terrible thing, but I couldn't connect to my feelings.  Numb.  Depressed.  Discouraged.

After an afternoon of aimlessness, I turned on the Tony Awards.  I used to work in the theatre, and I used to watch the awards show, though I haven't always remembered in recent years.  These days I rarely know any of the plays.  I tuned in a few minutes late but in time to see the brilliant opening number that reminded me so much of a number we did in our high school one-act production of Magic! written by my high school drama and music teachers, Robin Bennett and Janice Folsom.  It was a collage of songs from musicals suggesting that "That could be me" in each one of them. Watching it transported me back to my childhood room where I listened to the cast albums of all those musicals and played all the parts.  

The rest of the night made me so proud of the arts community, for their passion and compassion, for their collaboration and inclusion, for their humor and joy, for their talent and brilliance and dedication.  Their witness shone out against the darkness, and I am grateful.  Watching all the performances made me nostalgic for the theatre.  Or at least for theatre people and opening nights.  Nothing can make me nostalgic for production meetings at midnight!

As expected Hamilton won many awards.  But what blew me away was Lin-Manuel Miranda's acceptance speech.  He wrote a sonnet.  If you didn't get to catch it, click here. A couple of the lines really hit me in light of what had happened in Orlando.  "When senseless acts of tragedy remind us that nothing here is promised, not one day."  Oh yes.  My heart is breaking for the families and the loved ones of those who died.  Not one day is promised, but they didn't think it was today.  It was so unexpected - and it could happen anywhere at anytime.  This addiction our country has to guns and violence is something I cannot understand.  How do we stop the fear that seems at the heart of it all?

Not one day is promised but the enormous numbers of young people overdosing on drugs didn't think it was today.  We are losing them to heroin and other opioids.  Our country uses 99% of the worlds supply of hydrocodone (found in Vicodin).  Why are we in so much pain?  This may seem a non sequiter, but pain and fear are at the core of all this violence and death. 

Not one day is promised.  All we have is today is today is today.  Dear God, please help us use it for good.

Lin-Manuel's sonnet went on,
  "We live through times when hate and fear seem stronger
  We rise and fall and light from dying embers
  Remembrances that hope and love lasts long
  And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love
  Cannot be killed or swept aside"

Hate and fear seem stronger, but they are not, despite how it may seem right now.  Love and hope last longer.

Love is love is love is love is love is love is love. 

I believe in God who is love.  God who loves every single person whom God has created, including all of the people seeking safety and celebration at Pulse and even the man who gunned them down.
Love is love is love cannot be killed or swept aside. 
Sisters and brothers reading this, we must work together to let go of our fear and to heal our individual and collective pain.  We must. 

I still have not listened to Hamilton, but I'm getting closer to being willing.  Its creator has inspired me.  Thank you Lin-Manuel and the Broadway community, for the evening of hope.  Thank you God, for the love.

Kyrie Eleison

It's been a hard week.  Lots of people are in pain.  There's a hurricane churning, building strength, pummeling the Bahamas, and stumping the meterologists who have NO IDEA what it's going to do.  And today, while I sat in the student union of CNU praying for students, faculty, and administration, watching brightly colored rain boots pass by me, and chatting with a staffer about a grief group at a local church, a gunman on another college campus in Oregon opened fire.  At least 13 reported to have been killed with more having been injured. 

Kyrie eleison,
Christe eleison,
Kyrie eleison.

Lord, have mercy.  May their souls, and the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

"The United States makes up only 4.6 percent of the world's population, but consumes 80 percent of its opioids -- and 99 percent of the world's hydrocodone, the opiate that is in Vicodin." (source ABC NEWS) 

Why are we in so much pain?

We often ask that question at SpiritWorks as we watch the terrible cycle of addiction playing out over and over.  Why are we in so much pain?

We are a country addicted - to painkillers, to alcohol, to food, to sex, to guns.  We are addicted to entertainment.  We are addicted to our own thinking and opinions.  We are addicted to violence.  We are in so much pain, and we seek to soothe it in so many destructive ways.

Lord, have mercy upon us.
Christ, have mercy upon us.
Lord, have mercy upon us.

I would like to rant about guns and the need to control them and the lack of will in the American people to value life over death.  I would like to rant about racism, poverty, and violence.  I would like to let out a primal scream in despair that we as human beings decree that other human beings are less valuable than ourselves, that other human beings are disposable.  I would like to raise my fist and shout at my fellow Christians, "Where does Jesus say that violence and weapons are part of the kingdom of God?"  Having more people with guns will not make this problem go away!!!

And yes, I know it's more complicated than that.  That is why my rant is so very short.  Underlying all of these issues is the pain. 

Why are we in so much pain?  What can we do to heal the pain?  I know the answer isn't more guns or more drugs or more violence or more food.  We can't soothe it away with substances.  We can't shoot it away.  We don't get rid of it by hurting others or judging others or having power over others.  If I understood him correctly, Jesus said we need to love others and surrender our lives to God.  Like he did.

Please, God, help us turn to you.  Help us to find healthy ways to deal with this deep pain that is swallowing us.  Please heal our pain. 

Kyrie eleison,
Christe eleison,
Kyrie eleison.