Advent I

Yesterday it took me three matches to light the first candle on my Advent wreath. The first time I didn't hold the flame to the new wick long enough for it to catch. The second time, the flame caught, but in the moment that I turned away to put out the match, the candle flame had smoldered out. The third time I stayed close, making sure the flame had fully caught before dousing the match. Sometimes light is like that. It requires waiting, perseverance, and nurturing for it to kindle into flame.

And hope.

If I had given up after the first try, the candle would have remained unlit. But I had hope that if I just kept trying, the light would come.


Advent is like that. Waiting, hoping, keeping faith that the light will come. That the darkness will not overcome it.

When I was working in the theatre in my early thirties, I had the blessing of being unemployed several years during Advent. It may sound strange to call it a blessing, but it seemed that I always came down with a cold in December, and having time off from work allowed me to take care of my body. Being unemployed also meant that I had an abundance of time to sit quietly and reflect, to write, to read, to pray, to pay attention. Lack of employment also meant that I was poor, well, relatively speaking in 1st world terms, though still quite rich when compared with much of the rest of the world. I didn't have much disposable income, so I was forced to get creative with Christmas gifts and hand make as many as possible. I had to choose carefully the gifts I purchased in order to stretch my meager funds as far as I could. The luxury was that I had plenty of time to travel to be with family and friends and to share the gift of presence.

This year I am very meaningfully employed. I also have some unexpected expenses that are causing me to scale back on holiday spending. And I'm grateful. As I think about all the stuff that my friends and family have, I know that they don't need more from me. Instead I am scheming to spend more time being present – to other people, to myself, to God.

This Advent I am make a renewed commitment:
to resist the clarion call to deals and sales and to seek meaningful gifts from the heart,
to pray for the light that will pierce the darkness our world now experiences,
to stay awake to the pain and suffering of others instead of numbing myself with distractions,
to banish anxiety and despair and to cling to hope.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness does not overcome it. That is what we are waiting for this Advent and every Advent. The light that shines in the darkness. May it quickly come and remain kindled in our hearts.