New Year's Eves

We're in the final hours before Advent starts.  New Year's Eve for Christians!  Tomorrow is the first Sunday of Advent, the beginning of the season in which we wait and prepare for the coming of the Christ child and the 2nd coming of Christ.  Unlike New Year's Eve for the calendar year, this eve starts quietly in the dark without fireworks or champagne toasts, without parties and countdowns, without rockin' TV shows or celebrity concerts.  In this season we don't join gyms and make weight loss goals, and most of us don't make resolutions.  In this season we wait.  We journey with John in the wilderness.  We repent.  We listen with wonder to the angel's news.  We prepare.  We anticipate.  We get ready.

I actually celebrate three New Year's Eves each year.  One is on December 31, the turning of the calendar year.  The second is the eve of my birthday, my own personal New Year's Day.  And the third is the evening before the first Sunday of Advent.  It is the third that I love the most - as we walk in darkness we await the great light.  What do I need to do to be ready for its coming?  Tomorrow we will light a single candle on the Advent wreath, and the new season will begin.

Tonight I am preparing to preach tomorrow.  I'm finishing up Thanksgiving pie and listening to the purrs of my kitties as they keep me company while I type.  It's been a gloomy, dismal day outside, one that makes it easier to sit on the couch and ponder the season ahead.  The calm before the holiday storm.  My Advent wreath is ready and waiting though I have forgotten to purchase my candles.  After church tomorrow I will remedy this.

While preparing my sermon I read a quote from David Lose about tomorrow's Gospel reading, "We end up preparing for Christmas rather than for Christ and thereby more easily miss the presence of our Lord in the face of those in need..."  

My prayer for all of us is that we will not be so distracted by preparing for Christmas that we neglect to prepare for Christ.  May Christ be born in us again this new year and always.

Advent I

Yesterday it took me three matches to light the first candle on my Advent wreath. The first time I didn't hold the flame to the new wick long enough for it to catch. The second time, the flame caught, but in the moment that I turned away to put out the match, the candle flame had smoldered out. The third time I stayed close, making sure the flame had fully caught before dousing the match. Sometimes light is like that. It requires waiting, perseverance, and nurturing for it to kindle into flame.

And hope.

If I had given up after the first try, the candle would have remained unlit. But I had hope that if I just kept trying, the light would come.


Advent is like that. Waiting, hoping, keeping faith that the light will come. That the darkness will not overcome it.

When I was working in the theatre in my early thirties, I had the blessing of being unemployed several years during Advent. It may sound strange to call it a blessing, but it seemed that I always came down with a cold in December, and having time off from work allowed me to take care of my body. Being unemployed also meant that I had an abundance of time to sit quietly and reflect, to write, to read, to pray, to pay attention. Lack of employment also meant that I was poor, well, relatively speaking in 1st world terms, though still quite rich when compared with much of the rest of the world. I didn't have much disposable income, so I was forced to get creative with Christmas gifts and hand make as many as possible. I had to choose carefully the gifts I purchased in order to stretch my meager funds as far as I could. The luxury was that I had plenty of time to travel to be with family and friends and to share the gift of presence.

This year I am very meaningfully employed. I also have some unexpected expenses that are causing me to scale back on holiday spending. And I'm grateful. As I think about all the stuff that my friends and family have, I know that they don't need more from me. Instead I am scheming to spend more time being present – to other people, to myself, to God.

This Advent I am make a renewed commitment:
to resist the clarion call to deals and sales and to seek meaningful gifts from the heart,
to pray for the light that will pierce the darkness our world now experiences,
to stay awake to the pain and suffering of others instead of numbing myself with distractions,
to banish anxiety and despair and to cling to hope.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness does not overcome it. That is what we are waiting for this Advent and every Advent. The light that shines in the darkness. May it quickly come and remain kindled in our hearts.

Darkest Night

In the middle of a conversation with my parents yesterday during which we had talked quite a bit about triaging various expenses and repairs, my dad suddenly piped up and said, "I have some good news!"  His voice was so bright and cheery.  I said, "You do?  Let's have it."  He said, "The days start getting longer tomorrow."  The glee in his voice was a delight for me to hear.  Both my dad and I struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Basically we get the blues in the winter, and though we both dislike the cold, what really makes us droop is the lack of sunlight.  The days are so short and it's so hard to get outside, especially when it rains.  We both would prefer to hibernate inside by the fire and emerge when the crocuses and daffodils start poking their little heads up, heralding the coming of spring.

I have struggled this Advent, not just with the cold and darkness, but also with the barrage of images of death, violence, disease, and just downright meanness in the world.  And then, when the report about the torture done in this country in our name came out, I felt like a knife had been stuck in my back.  I don't usually write about political issues because I haven't figured out how to do enough research to be informed enough to articulate something that would be helpful.  Mostly I just listen and try to learn.  It doesn't seem like all the online hostility furthers the conversation anyway.  One thing I do know, though.  Torture is wrong.  I am a follower of Jesus, who suffered torture before being crucified.  I may be naive, but as a follower of the one who told us to love our enemies, I believe that torture is wrong.  Period.  And the fact that my fellow countrymen committed such atrocities fills me with shame.  This torture was committed on my behalf.  And for that I want to put on sackcloth and ashes.  I am grateful that I live in a country where I have great privilege and much more security than many living in other places, but I am ashamed that security has become the idol to which we have sold our souls.  The prophets in the Hebrew Scriptures cried out, "Repent."  Indeed.  Repent.  We are a country in need of repentance.

The words of the Confession from Enriching Our Worship keep returning to my mind, especially these:
"We repent of the evil that enslaves us,
the evil we have done,
and the evil done on our behalf."

The evil done on our behalf.  I repent of the evil done on my behalf.  Please forgive me, God.  Please forgive the United States of America, Jesus, for doing to others what was done to you.  Please forgive us for the evil we have done.

It feels like the darkest night will not end.  It looks like injustice will triumph.  At times it even feels like hope is lost in a country where we can't even find a way to have civil conversation with one another.  It is a dark, dark time.  And yet, what we know is that Jesus was born into a dark time as well.  The people had walked in darkness a long time before his birth restored the light.  When he came he brought hope that all would be redeemed.  I do not know how all this hatred and violence will be redeemed, but I do know that "nothing will be impossible with God."

My friends, I have some good news.  The days are getting longer.  The people who have walked in darkness will see a great light.  
 

For a child has been born for us,

a son given to us;

authority rests upon his shoulders;

and he is named

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

His authority shall grow continually,

and there shall be endless peace

for the throne of David and his kingdom.

He will establish and uphold it

with justice and with righteousness

from this time onward and forevermore. (Isaiah 9:6-7)

This Christmas I pray for all who have suffered torture and for their tormentors, for all who have suffered violence and for those who are violent, for all who are victims of disease, despair, and destruction.  I pray for the establishment of justice and righteousness in this and in every land, hoping that we one day we will no longer be walking in darkness but will be the people who walk in light.