Judge Not

Every morning I have spiritual study time.  This year I'm reading through the Bible (The Message this go around) and so I read a few chapters from it.  Then I usually read a daily meditation, like the one from Melody Beattie in my last post.  I finish by reading a portion of a "spiritual" book.  I sit on the love seat in my study, and on the right side of it is a stack of books that I have started but not finished and to which I turn once in awhile.  One of the books in the stack is Joan Borysenko's book, Inner Peace for Busy People.  I got to do a workshop with Joan a couple of years ago, and I resonate with what she teaches and writes.

The section I read today was titled, "Judge Not."  Whooee!  I was immediately reminded of the beginning of Matthew 7 in which Jesus says, "Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgement you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbour, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye', while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s eye" (NRSV).

Of course the first thing I wanted to do was to race off to FaceBook and post on the timelines of all the people saying judgmental things, especially in the comments.  This would include people on both sides of many issues.  So much of what I read online is Judgement, followed by Snarky Comment about someone else's intellect, morals, or spirituality.  This morning I was ready to rush to the computer and lift up my e-fist and e-shout, "JUDGE NOT!  YOU HYPOCRITES!"  My only sadness was that members of Congress are not friends with me on FaceBook and so would not hear my barbaric yawp.

But here's the thing that brought me up short.  While I'm shaking my e-fist and typing capital letters for my e-shout, I'm doing the very thing that I'm cautioning others against.  I'm judging others for their judgement.  I'm trying to take the speck out of everyone else's eyes while ignoring the log that's in mine. It's very easy when I hear the words, "Judge not," to think of all the other people I know who need to take note.  In my opinion anyway.  What is much harder is to look at the places where I judge.  And they are legion.  I would prefer for everyone to see me as a generous, sweet, good person who wouldn't judge anyone.  Sometimes I can even believe that of myself.  But, if I am honest, and recovery is all about honesty, then I need to take a look at my own judging.

Most of my judging goes on in my head.  It's instinctive, rapid, and influences me before I'm aware of it.  And of course, the judgments I'm making say more about me than about the person I'm judging.  Added to that is all the self-judgment.  It's a vicious cycle of thinking.  Yesterday I was watching a video about Thistle Farms, and heard founder Becca Stevens talk about the women that she works with who are coming off the streets of Nashville.  She has worked to create a community of unconditional love, which she defines as "Love without judging."  What is it like to love others and ourselves without judging?  What would the world look like if we did?

Love without judging.  It's so hard when people are different from us or have opinions that we think are wrong.  It's so hard to disagree with an opinion without judging the other person.  It's so hard to keep all our projections to ourselves.  It's so hard to look at other people, all the other people in the world, to look past the things that annoy us and see God in them.  I believe that when we do, we live much happier, more peaceful lives.  We are the ones who are most hurt by our judgments.

The last part from the Joan Borysenko passage says, "You might try this tip that I learned from author, speaker, and wise guide, Ram Dass, many years ago.  When you catch yourself grumbling about someone else, own the projection and say, 'And I am that, too.'"  Ouch.  All those things that bother me about others are part of me, too.  Better get back to removing that log from my own eye.  Looks like it's going to take some time.